Dealing with Disappointment – The Newnan Times-Herald
David L. Chancey is pastor, McDonough Road Baptist Church, 352 McDonough Road, Fayetteville, Georgia. Join them this Sunday for worship at 10 a.m. and Bible study at 11:10 a.m. See options online at www.mcdonoughroad.org. Visit www.davidchancey.com to see more of Chancey’s writings.
This week, Freddie Freeman hit his first home run as the Los Angeles Dodger in his first game against his former teammates. What a story !
Hot on the heels of the World Series, Atlanta Braves fans eagerly awaited the agreement of the Braves and first baseman Freeman to a new contract allowing him to finish his career as a Brave. This does not happen.
As the situation dragged on, I braced myself for the likelihood of the two parties going their separate ways. Eventually they did, in dramatic fashion.
In mid-March, the Braves traded for Matt Olsen to play first base, and then Freeman, a free agent, signed with the Los Angeles Dodgers. Atlanta native Olsen returns to the city to play for his hometown team, while Freeman returns to his native Southern California to play in front of friends and family.
It looks like a win-win for the men and the two franchises, but many Braves fans felt let down. There was that initial disappointment when the news broke that we had gotten a new first baseman, which made it obvious Freddie wasn’t coming back. We fans were reminded that while we are emotionally attached to our favorites, baseball is ultimately a business, and business is business.
Former baseball commissioner Bart Giamatti, speaking of the emotion of the game, wrote: “It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart.
Not only are our teams failing us and our hearts breaking, but life doesn’t turn out the way we sometimes imagine. We briefly thought we could babysit a grandson from out of state for a few days this summer while his parents are traveling. We made our schedules and started making plans, and then the logistics changed on the other end. What seemed to develop will not happen.
Disappointment is part of living in a world that isn’t always fair. How would you define disappointment? Disappointment is the feeling we get when our hopes aren’t met or our expectations aren’t met. Sometimes unrealistic expectations do not match the actual circumstances. Thus, we feel a moment of sadness.
How do you deal with disappointment?
First, own it. There’s nothing wrong with saying, “I’m really disappointed. Acknowledge the sadness and take a moment to grieve.
Second, name it. Part of owning it is recognizing exactly why you’re disappointed. Identify the gap between expectations and reality and express: “I am disappointed because __________”.
Third, share it with a trusted listener. Take it off your chest and talk about it.
Fourth, refuse to dwell on it. Life goes on, and so do we. It is unhealthy to linger in the “valley of unmet expectations”.
Fifth, see disappointment as an opportunity to grow. I was a latecomer on the bike front. Just like many teenagers delay getting their driver’s license these days, I didn’t learn to ride a bike until fourth grade. I don’t remember why it took me so long, maybe because I didn’t like falling on the asphalt and being scratched.
Early one Saturday morning, I lifted the garage door, mounted my bike, and rode down the driveway. No helmet, no help, just me, my bike and maybe disaster to come. I kept my balance… for a few minutes.
Yet that morning when I fell, I got back on my bike and did it again until my confidence grew. Winston Churchill said, “Success is the ability to go from one failure to another without losing enthusiasm. Disappointment can teach resilience.
Sixth, replace disappointment with deeper trust. Isaiah 26:4 presents a powerful reminder to those who face disappointment: “Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock” (ESV). When life is uncertain, God is always certain. He is our rock. Trust God.
Seventh, focus on the giver of peace, not the disturbers of peace. Isaiah 26:3 says, “You will keep in perfect peace the one whose mind is fixed on you because he trusts in you. We too easily focus on the circumstances that steal our peace rather than the Person who brings peace and comfort.
Eighth, thank goodness anyway. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, “In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” Thank God that He controls and works all things together for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28).
God may have something much better for us than what didn’t work out.
David L. Chancey is pastor, McDonough Road Baptist Church, 352 McDonough Road, Fayetteville, Georgia. Join them this Sunday for worship at 10 a.m. and Bible study at 11:10 a.m. See online options at www.mcdonoughroad.org. To visit www.davidchancey.com to see more of Chancey’s writings.